Eat, Love, Pray for an early death to get out of this film

Bitter, Bitter Balcony, Movie Review, Eat, Love, Pray 2010Jennifer Salt, Ryan MurphyRyan MurphyJulia Roberts, Tuva Novotny, Billy CrudupElizabeth Gilbert Bitter,Bitterometer,meter Eat, Love, Pray(2010)

Fair warning. My first thought during this movie was the character Julia Roberts is playing here is really full of shit. It turns out that the actual person she plays is, well, sorta full of shit in real life. More on that later…

Liz Gilbert is a writer and she’s upset with a big house and a husband. Woe is she in her hard hard life. She prays to god for the first time and somehow god tells her to leave her husband. Leave it to god to make someone break her vows, which she made before that very god. Then she laughs and plays with her new boy toy David Piccolo (James Franco). Guess what, she gets tired of that too. So she gets this bright idea of heading to Italy, India and Bali to discover how deep she wishes she is. She wants to once again get a taste for life. Of course on this trip she meets a man and they live happily ever after. More on that later…

What’s that JAS? There’s more, you say? Yes, there is! This journey of self-discovery had a price. What we don’t hear is that this little expedition was actually paid for by the company that eventually published her “riveting” story. Yup, before jumping head first into a journey where she could lose it all she made sure she had a sponsor. On the Wikipedia page, for one, it reads, “The trip was paid for in advance with a book deal from the publisher.”

Julia Roberts is unsympathetic in this role. If she was to crash and burn all the audience would care about is that her whiny ass is almost off the screen. Everyone else does what he or she needs to do and we hope we see more of Tuva Novotny in the future. Why more Tuva? She's the only one that comes off as interesting in that way you want for an actor to be.

The dialog is not nearly as witty as it’s intended to be. The trips through the European sights are all good and well since most of us unsponsored Americans have to work for our plane tickets. Her drama is as boring as her self-centeredness. Everyone must revolve around Liz or Liz becomes unhappy. Then when people revolve around Liz, she doesn't want them to.

The movie is not worth watching. This story has been told a thousand times before and has been done better in most of those thousand before it. If you want to have a journey to discover everything that is true to you in your center then we implore you to go. However, don't forget to follow Elizabeth Gilbert's example and get a sponsor first. Why would you want to risk anything to prove your courage and test your mettle? Either way, it worked for Gilbert and it could work for you. The one thing we ask is that you kindly STFU about it. No one cares, but you.

P.S. That true love she found? We don’t like to dabble in gossip, but it looks like she was unhappy with his ass too and cheated on him. BRILLIANT!


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