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Prince of Persia: Sands of Time - a classic curry and kabab fair [USER REVIEW] [User Review]

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Prince of Persia (2010)

Watching this movie is like walking into a curry and kabab fair. If you holding an expectation of some food court quality options or street corner takeway flavour, you are heading to a nice surprise.

Let me set this out straight before we go in any further: I don't really know much of the late Prince of Persia games. My memory of the Prince of Persia still stays with the 1989 version, when the game was played on a 320 X 200 with 8 colors. There was very little music and now that I remembered, bad sound effect quality. But back to the time when a computer was not a day-to-day item, the game was absolutely breath taking, the prince's movement smooth, palace level difficulties well designed to engage hours of play time and thrill. It was one of my completed (with confidence) games in early time and one of my old time favorite.

So when I heard that they are making the movie, Prince of Persia, I was like, 'oh, crap. Now they are going to screw this one for me too.'

You can't blame me for holding a negative expectation toward the game-turned-movies. They have screwed how many games so far? Max Payne was a huge pain, Street Fighter was a street joker, Doom was doomed, DOA was Dead On Arrival, Blood Rayne went straight DVD, Resident Evil is now superhero movie, Lara Croft, well, let’s say after the movie I stopped playing the series all together. How can you blame me for stereotyping and what could I possibly expect?

And that is exactly the attitude you need to hold in order to fully enjoy this movie. Yes. Expect the street snack you will be set up for a feast.

Prince of Persia: Sand of Time is, from what I know, very loosely based on the game. There you have the Prince, the princess, the bad traitorous guy, and the dagger. All the background stories, the plot setup, even the name of the characters, are created just for the movie. That is a terrible decision if you are a fan to the game; but to me, matters not that much.

Our prince of Persia, Dastan, is now an orphan, being adopted by the king when he was a kid. The Kings army was led by King’s oldest son, attacking a holy city holding the excuse that the city was producing weapon of mass destruction for Persia’s enemy. Upon the victory Dastan acquired a mysterious dagger, then was accused of murder of the Kings’ death. He escaped with the princess’ help and went on to a journey to re-claim justice. With the tax evading rogue Sheik’s help, he keep kicking bad guys’ asses and discover the power of the dagger and saving the earth from god’s bad temper. Now if already start to have issues with the movie you probably should not go and see it. To me, I didn’t know what it was about anyway, so it didn’t really bother me. Praise my ignorance.

Game loyalty aside, the movie is very comfortable being what it is. It did not take itself very seriously. Time travel is only a press of a button, providing the device was properly fueled; Bad guys have all the fancy gear and super powers, which was pretty cool; Tax evader running an illegal bird racing games; Africans travel on foot to attend kings funeral; a metal walnut craker from local wal-mart; and all the computer generated sands – so much sands that they eventually run-out. Dastan climb out of the tiny little tent after a major sandstorm, the tent was so clean make you think how they could overcast like that. And on top of all the intentional holes, trust me there are plenty and they are all quite funny, they rubbed enough pop culture mocking for the purpose to entertain. They obviously understand that they are creating a popcorn event and they are somehow determined to make that happen. The outcome is a classic style entertaining package much like one of the Indiana Jones ones, which is well done consider today's blockbuster's average quality.

Jake must be told number of times by the director, ‘I want you to be cute! Put up that cute smile of yours!’ so he smile cute. Many times. Gemma was accused of not ‘pretty’ enough to represent the princess in game by fans. She definitely tried hard; god knows how much coke she rubbed on her skin to achieve that level of tanning. And she even had cleavage! Sadly only when the movie needed it. When not, she put that away in a make-up box. And also, Persians throw apples at each other, to express love. Fruit of love.

Acting wise there are a lot of pro moment. Ben Kingsley for one, manage his role like spoon through diet yogurt; Alfred Molina tried to be funny and he was funny from time to time. And the one liners, oh the one liners, praise the writer, that is the miracle single handedly saved the movie. Not the Jake’s long hair, not Gemma’s chest shot. Although they are pretty nice also.

One key success factor to the movies this genre is how they capture the game spirit. Max Payne must have the slow-mo. Tomb raider must have Tomb cruise. Street Fighter need to have Chun Li’s thighs spinning upside down. These are the key success factors that if they didn’t have, they will fail. And that is why they failed. To Prince of Persia, the prince needs to be the backup gymnastic for Olympics. It seemed they remembered that. Jake was running around jumping and flipping enough, but, not plenty. Common, tight the guy up with rope and swing him around! That must cost less than the fancy CGI for all the sands?! What’s the hold back? Insurance too expensive? Now there comes the one liners… alright I will take that.

In conclusion, in order to enjoy the movie you need to have the right attitude. The attitude of expect nothing. The movie actually stands on its own, catering for people who are not the game enthusiasts, but for the people who remotely remember the game or better even, having no idea who is this prince of Persia. For those who insist the curry and kababs should be fine dining experience, no, it won’t be and shouldn’t be. It is knockout spice flavor food with pack of grease, best go down with beer and fun laughing noise and expect the second morning toilet experience. But it sure did taste good right on spot, right on moment. It is miles better than the takeway two choices over rice, and that is certain.

Source of the Bitter: Que

Comments, rants and other stuffs below
JAS on Tue, 06/08/2010 - 6:46pm

Sadly, if Gemma takes a bite out of that apple we'll all have to get an education and loose immortality... or something like that. Thank Zod Jake has a dagger that rolls back time. He might kick that snake's ass yet! Do snakes have asses? Are there big booty snakes? :P

Que on Tue, 06/08/2010 - 9:27pm

yes. all the snakes under 'viper' category will have the 'Y' shape body, where the trunk of body suddenly finished and leave the sudden thin tail. technically, that is their asses.

JAS on Wed, 06/09/2010 - 8:38am

LOL Brilliant!