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Robin Hood - frozen lasagne, reheated [USER REVIEW] [User Review]

Robin Hood - frozen lasagne, reheated.

Robin Hood is like a frozen pack of lasagne from the supermarket freezer section. You microwaved it but didn't get to finished. then you microwaved it again. Unless that is exactly what you want, you will not find it satisfying.

In Ridley Scott's latest epic(like) movie, Robin Hood started as a average archer man in King Richard's army. He escaped army when the King was killed during the battle, run into an ambush complex, and ended returning to Nottingham pretending to be the lord. Of course his buntch of merry men followed him all the way, turned from wasted soldiers to legendary battle heros, when Robin himself showed exordindary level of leadership, stretegical planning and ultimate passion to liberty. Without giving too much of the movie out, imagin a cookie cutter hero type from any epic movie.

Casting for the movie is obviously good. Max von Sydow and William Hurt were as accurate as always,though Hurt could have a little bit more show time; Mark Strong really had his stepping stone chances here, and Russell Crowe was, well, you know. Cate Blanchett is still the highlight of the movie, stealing the show from any man with just breezing effort.

However the movie appeared as very slow and overly long. I can't summary exactly, it seemed that everything was a bit short on something. The plot was very oddly put together; the battle field scenes were very clamsy; and all the Frenchs in the movie were like, really unlikeable. Well, the Music scores were very good, but that alone was not enough to save the movie. over all, beefy, but not epic enough. maybe Ridley was trying to be authentic? the battle fields is drastically down-scaled; that is alright, considering the fact that we didn't really have the army size of persians in 300, but the scenes were also very badly coordinated and edited. everyone in the fighting looked slow and fake. epic fail.

I think my main problem was with the writing. it is not deliverying the Robin Hood I was counting for, instead it gave me a generic man as plastic hero with not much personality at all. he follows the exact stereotyping hero path, started with personal gain motive and before anyone knew what happened he became the man of public, stepping in front of the crowds giving the liberty speach. and he was not the thief. he was not the outlaw. and he waved sword on the horse in and out of the battle field, playing no smart skirmish. and he shot like, 5 arrows all together throughout the movie.

at a stage the movie tried to give Robin Hood a reason for all his heroic deeds. it failed. No one cares. It felt instant. and it was sad that Hollywood could just make up junk and change the classic tales without a thread of respect. My goodness I just had someone mashed up the Persus for me! now Robin Hood! What's next? Prince of Persia turned gay?!?

For over 2 hours of screening time I felt the chair was gold, the aircon was smelly and my coke was watery. the whole experience was like having the plastic pack of frozen lasagne reheated multiple times; it was dry on the top, cold in the centre, beef taste like soap and sauce from the 2 litre no brand bottle. It was nothing exciting, nothing magical, nothing new. it was that hollywood.

I officially put Ridley Scott on my 'be careful' list and Brian Helgeland (the writer) in the toilet bin. I don't care that guy wrote Payback and Man on fire; I don't care that guy wrote L.A confidential and Mystic River. He wrote the Taking of Pelham and now he has done it again. And Ridley, you be careful. I thank you for Alien and Gladiator, and even Black Hawk down, but one more of these cashing-out junk you will be in the bin with him too.

Source of the Bitter: Que

Comments, rants and other stuffs below
JAS on Thu, 05/13/2010 - 6:16pm

The minute I saw this trai;er I thought to myself, "why?" and "Do we really need another "Robin Hood?"

The answers where because Hollywood doesn't have the balls to make anything creative anymore and because this is an easy cash-in.

Thank you Hollywood! You continue to make our lives here at Bitter Balcony easier by putting out an endless stream of shit.