Salt – way too much salt [User Review]

Bitter, Bitter Balcony, Movie Review, 2010Angelina Jolie Bitter,Bitterometer,meter Salt (2010)

Salt – way too much salt

Watching the movie ‘Salt’ is like eating something that has way too much salt in it; I couldn’t even tell what was in my mouth, nothing fresh and nothing inspiring and leaves a plain nasty after taste.

Salt tells a tale that, hey spoiler here so look away, a female CIA agent is accused of being a Russian spy. And then she is on the run, trying to save her husband who was kidnapped, and after that, setting out for a personal revenge journey. See, I am decent, I do not give all the story, still keep the thrill, not that there is any thrill in the movie that worth catching up, but anyway.

Seriously, seriously, a RUSSIAN spy? The script felt like it is from the late 80’s or early 90’s, but Russian spy today is totally just out of date material. It is like a piece of meat, not rotten off, but so old and dry that you can’t even chew. The movie presents you the CIA organisation that saturated with Russian sleeper agents, consider that they were all sent over to US when they were 7-8 year old, it was just all very convenience that they all ended into the US army, CIA, and with all the proper training required, and after like 30 years, still will commit themselves into suicide bombs after just one trigger call. I mean, common, Russians? Really?

That is not just the only thing that taste old in this movie making. Then came along Salt, a female Jason Bourne who is capable of making bombs out of cleaning detergent mixture, top level marksman, eh, person, a dog lover, master of escape, close-combat expert who breaks every man’s neck, and a little bit of spiderman, eh, person, that jumps over and over on top of trucks on the highspeed highway. Alright, Angelina Jolie.

I am sure a lot of men will go pay that ticket to see Angelina Jolie, frankly I do not see the point. With that hollywood top level makeup on, I still could help but just telling myself, really? Ange is 35 but look like 45, she would be doing the world a big favour also a big one to herself if she stop pretend to be a beauty. Many 45+ hollywood women look better these days.

I could understand that from the business perspective, ‘lets make a woman version of Jason Bourne’ sounds really like a good commercial idea. I am sure the movie will do alright box office wise, because people will see junk with AJ in it anyway, but there are also reasons why so many other spy movies didn’t make it to be Bourne. Salt should be tough, as a lead for an action movie, but there are too much salt in this movie making the actions becoming the brain-numbing joke. She was already no longer doing the field work, somehow she can fly on top of trucks, breeze through killing the visiting president, single handed the entire Russian KGB mobs, single handed the US president homeguard team, frontal hack into the safety room under the white house and jumping out of chopper free fall 80m into a lake and be OK.

Salt has the attitude of being a serious thriller, having all the spys and stuff, but where everything fall apart is when too much salt happen. Jason Bourne made it because the Jason made you believe that our day-to-day life contents can be used as spy-gear and he was un-stoppable because of his decision making, but Salt failed at attempting to be the one-man army capable of doing what Stallon’s expendables can do as whole team, or Die-Hard 1,2,3 and 4 all up. Now that is just way too much salt. We love Alice in Resident Evil because it is outside of reality; We hate Salt because of the same. too much.

Plus the dry plot and drying up Julie, no wonder the nasty aftertaste.

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