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Valentines Day [User Review]


The movie ‘Valentines Day’ is like a cheese bucket. Not a collection of cheese with variety and flavour, not with nice presentation and proper crackers and bread on the side. It is a bucket of junk full of the broken bits from the bottom of the whole packages, it is not made to be enjoyed. It is there for the sake of ‘must have cheese’ and trade for money only.

Seriously, what a surprise. When you walk into a movie called ‘Valentines Day’ which opens on Valentines Day, you know they are not making art, or experience. But there is nothing wrong with a little bit of cheese from time to time, right? It should be easy going and light hearted, and carry some retard (no, scratch that) simple messages such as ‘love concurs all’ and ‘be loyal to your spouse’, or ‘someone mean-to-be is waiting for you somewhere’. When you walk into this one you should be well prepared cos you know it would be a sure bet to have a full faceful of cheese coming down your way.

And I thought I was prepared.

Every thing in this movie, ‘Valentines Day’, happened in the same day. Well. From the early AM flouriest woke up and go to the market until near mid night when everyone gets what they deserve. There are flourist proposed to an uncommitted girl, school teacher fell for cheating doctor, sports reporter forced into V-Day reporting, phone-sex operator dating mailroom boy, highschool sweethearts wanting sex, kissing grand parents, confused over-the-peak football star and a pair of strangers sitting next to each other on the marathon air plane. All with good looking actors/actresses. Then top up with some happy comedy reliefs and a kid’s wish you have your money trap.

The problem was not with the casts. I could clearly see some of them are trying, some of them even take their stuff rather seriously. The problem was the idea where the movie was started. The movie needed to cover as many stereotypes as possible to make the people to relate to the movie, but the plot for each pair was so shallow it didn’t give any chance for any real emotion to reach out. The lines and plots were obviously written by a bunch of school kids, give them a school essay and collect their works then you have the script. Our director’s focus was obviously not in the movie, it looked to me that he gave up in the first instance and just in for the pay check.

At the end of the day the cinema was full of people and half of them (the unwilling husbands) were just there to show commitment and supports. The young girls would wow for Bradley and Carter, curse the cheaters and adore the kisses, and the boys just stuff their mouths with popcorn when Jessicas and Taylor were on the screen.

Once again, the grandma and grandpa kissed, this time was in front of hundreds of people. The kid has the need to express himself but I didn’t care. The orchid in the box, what was that, isn’t Valentines all about roses? I was sitting there, cheesed out, semi conscious.

I can’t believe that I am saying this, but Love Actually was better. Four Weddings and a Funeral was better. How to loose a guy in 10 days was better. ‘Valentines Day’ is the new hight, king of the junk cheese, and demonstrate that on the man made commercial ‘holiday’, all the hype is to make money.

From you.

Source of the Bitter: Que

Comments, rants and other stuffs below
JAS on Wed, 02/17/2010 - 7:38pm

Bitter Balcony would love to thank Que for putting himself through this rubbish, so that we don't have to. Naturally, with all the bad movies the BB team is put through this is the one that could have driven us to madness.

jafeny (not verified) on Mon, 04/05/2010 - 3:17am

i would love to read more from you on this