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Introducing Cinema Sluts!


Bitter Balcony loves to support filmmakers, film fans and all around swell people. Today we introduce you to Cinema Sluts a new podcast by two of our friends Matt Ellison and Chris Fred. I know, I know. We were hoping for some film themed photo shoot, too, but this podcast is totally worth a listen or three.

Chris and Matt are both thespians and avid movie watchers. Armed with some great film knowledge they aim to entertain and enlighten. Thankfully they accomplish both!

Take a moment to listen to their podcast below and do your best to spread the word.


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Girl with the Dragon Tattoo becomes Americanized :(

Bitter, Bitter Balcony, Movie Review, Girl with the Dragon Tattoo 2011Steven ZaillanDavid FincherRooney Mara,Daniel Craig,Christopher Plummer,Stellan SkarsgårdSteig Larsson Bitter,Bitterometer,meter Girl with the Dragon Tattoo(2011)

After some of the best movie posters, teaser trailer and various promotional materials we’ve seen for a movie, “Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” has finally arrived. When it was announced there was much trepidation here at Bitter Balcony, because we were sure that no one could top the work that Noomi Rapace did as Lisbeth Salander. While we weren’t right, we weren’t right either, but it’s not for the reason we thought.

Naturally, comparisons between the Swedish version and the US version are going to be made. While the movie wasn’t a remake of the Swedish film per se it is an adaption to novel that had already been adapted to film. And as such comparisons are justified since we are given the choice on which to rewatch based on which film was better. The US version of the film does three things differently than the original: It has a different structure for the first act, it has various changes to some components of the story, and it has a different dynamic for the relationship between the two main characters.



Immortals dies an early death

Bitter, Bitter Balcony, Movie Review, Immortals 2012Charley Parlapanides,Vlas ParlapanidesTarsem SinghHenry Cavill,Mickey Rourke,John Hurt,Stephen Dorff,Freida Pinto Bitter,Bitterometer,meter Immortals(2012)

The “Immortals” dies an early death by way of being forgotten. Tarsem Singh showed that he was willing to be, and capable of being, really creative and having a very singular aesthetic. The scenes from “The Cell” that took place in the serial killer’s head were awesome to watch and the entirety of “The Fall” was a real treat to watch. In “The Fall” he showed that he can weave his style into a well-told tale and each was complimented by the other. Sadly, this is not the case for “Immortals.

“Immortals” follows Theseus as he is chosen by Zeus to stop King Hyperion who is on a quest to destroy humanity and the gods, if the plan works out.


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For Lovers Only... Yeah, maybe not.

Bitter, Bitter Balcony, Movie Review, For Lovers Only 2010Mark PolishMichael PolishMark Polish,Stana Katic Bitter,Bitterometer,meter For Lovers Only(2010)

A few weeks ago I read about a film that sold quite the number of copies. It was shot on one Canon 5D Mark II and had no budget. I emailed myself the link, so that I could check it out when I had the time and thought it would be a cool movie to watch. So few feature films are made with no budget that it could have been something special. What I witnessed was not what I would have hoped for.

For starters, “For Lovers Only” is not a proper name for this film. If the people who should watch it are romantics then we should probably split romantics into two categories:

1. The kind of romantic that appreciates the person they are with. They are there for that person and discover a deep attachment that transcends most other attachments. Someone who stirs up intense positive emotions that move them to want to be with the person they are in love with for the rest of their days. For instance, people who enjoy “After Sunset”.



Scarlett Johansson hints at Black Widow spin-off

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George Takei's humble request to fight against Twilight!


Never ceasing to prove how awesome he continues to be George Takei has posted this video asking "Star Wars" and "Star Trek" fans alike to stop fighting themselves and fight the true enemy of good entertainment, "Twilight!"


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Rampage, the video game, is being made into a movie. LOLZ

Bitter, Bitter Balcony, Movie Review,    

So the word on the street (OK, internet) is that New Line is making a movie based on “Rampage.” Yes, “Rampage” the video game where you play a giant Gorilla (King Kong), Lizard (Godzilla) and/or Rat thing (Yeah, I got nothin’) and tear through the United States punching the crap out of buildings. Yeah, seriously. This has the story depth of…. Wait for it… a Michael Bay film. That brings us to the following.

We are going on record here and saying that Michael Bay himself should direct this crapper of an explosion/devastation filled disasterpiece. Yup, a movie this lame should be handled by a man who can always deliver a shitty movie that has a lot of action and no story. If the writers of this joke are planning on writing in some monuments getting destroyed then maybe Ronald Emmerich… Sigh, but his movies are so bad… Yeah, we’re sticking with Michael Bay.

Sure, this movie shouldn’t happen, but if they do plan on going through with it then make it as bad as possible.

Lets all laugh together at the trajectory of Hollywood films.


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