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"The Flying Man" a new kind of superhero


This new look at superheroes is pretty damn interesting. Let's hope Hollywood notices this one and helps turn it into a feature film.

The Flying Man from Marcus Alqueres on Vimeo.


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Jack the Giant Slayer (A.K.A. A giant pile of dung)

Bitter, Bitter Balcony, Movie Review, Jack the Giant Slayer 2012Darren Lemke,Christopher McQuarrie,Dan StudneyBryan SinterEwan McGregor,Nicholas Hoult,Stanley Tucci Bitter,Bitterometer,meter Jack the Giant Slayer(2012)

Brought to you by Brian Singer we get an adaptation of “Jack and the Beanstalk” for the big screen. Yes, typing that last sentence was taxing because we aren’t joking. We can only assume that Singer had some contractual obligation to make this movie and had no choice. This adaptation has giants, a beanstalk and they say “fee fye foe fumm” in it. The rest is just Hollywood trying really hard at making the old tale into a blockbuster and failing in the process.

We follow Jack. He’s a nobody with good intentions, but after defending the princess she quickly takes a liking to him. She eventually visits his home, which I have no idea how she knew where it was, and a beanstalk seed meets water whisking her up to the floating land of the giants. Jack, who clearly likes the princess, volunteers to help rescue the princess. A group of the kings best, Jack and the princesses betrothed make it to the giant’s land and seek out the princess. Naturally, the giants have the princess and so the rescuing begins. The giants eventually come down to the surface of the human world to wreak havoc.



Bitter Balcony Deals with Daddy Issues (and Plot Devices) with The Place Beyond the Pines!

Bitter, Bitter Balcony, Movie Review, The Place Beyond the Pines 2012Derek Cianfrance, Darius Marder, Ben CoccioDerek CianfranceRyan Gosling, Bradley Cooper Bitter,Bitterometer,meter The Place Beyond the Pines(2012)

It’s been a while since Jas and I have butted heads over a movie, and for that reason alone, “The Place Beyond the Pines” is my favorite movie of 2013 thus far. I love it. Jas hates it. Jas destroyed Derek Cianfrance’s generational interconnecting drama, spotting both narrative and technical failures in the movie’s framework. I countered with an emotional response, the power of a flawed yet passionately driven film that has resided in my subconscious. I admit my brother is one astute and merciless debater. Yet, I was not deterred to defend the metaphysical poignancy Cianfrance captures gracefully in this ambitiously delivered small town saga. Cianfrance succeeds in his use of the mechanisms of fate near the same class of Alejandro González Iñárritu did for “Amores Perros” and “Babel.” “The Place Beyond the Pines” will provoke a response. Hey, sometimes friends fight.


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Crypticon 2013 begins tomorrow!


We’ve attended Crytpicon Seattle in 2010 and 2011, reviewed it 2012 and now the time has come to venture forth and enjoy the convention again.

This year’s guest lineup includes some fine film folks like Cassandra “Elvira” Peterson, Dana Ashbrook, Jon Stewart James Duval and many more. You can even have some fun singing some karaoke tunes with Nicholas Brendon. You can find the full list here.

Cassandra Elvira PetersonJames Duval

Guests are not just what it’s all about; there’s a film festival, artist alley, and movies like the Northwest premiere of “Birdemic 2: The Ressurection”. You can find the event list here.


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Zack Braff needs your help!


Zack Braff has created his own Kickstarter attempting to get funding for his next written/directed/acted feature film. He’s got a script titled “Wish I Was Here” ready to go, too!

For the fans of “Garden State” that are tired of waiting for Braff’s next movie this is your chance to help! It’s day one and he’s already hit half of his two million dollar requested budget.

The Kicstarter page can be found here.


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Evil Dead returns from the dead... and it's evil... sorta...

Bitter, Bitter Balcony, Movie Review, Evil Dead 2013Fede Alvarez,Diablo Cody,Sam Raimi,Rodo Sayagues MendezFede AlvarezJane Levy,Jessica Lucas,Shiloh Fernandez,Lou Taylor Pucci,Elizabeth Blackmore Bitter,Bitterometer,meter Evil Dead(2013)

"Evil Dead" has been remade into a more serious/non-campy horror film and the results are surprisingly entertaining. This is not to say it’s a fantastic film you’ll want to own and watch over and over, but it does entertain for the length of time that you’re in the theater.

The premise is slightly different this time around. We have a group of young adults meeting up at the typical cabin in the woods to help a friend (and sister to the main-ish character) get over her cocaine addiction. Of course, they soon discover the Book of the Dead and everything starts to go south from there.

The script is not without flaws, but anything it lacks in story/structure it makes up for with delicious gore. Most of the gore can be seen in the red band trailer (below), but there are a few that were left out. The final gory scene in the movie is impressive and fun. Let’s just say that there was probably a fake blood shortage in Hollywood when that scene was filmed. Thankfully, this remake doesn’t try to give us a new Ash. This was probably the wisest decision since most fans of the original would have most likely had a negative reaction to the idea of replacing Bruce Campbell.


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Is Beyond the Black Rainbow staying beyond its welcome?

Bitter, Bitter Balcony, Movie Review, Beyond the Black Rainbow  2010Panos CosmatosPanos CosmatosMichael Rogers,Scott Hylands,Marilyn Norry,Eva Allan Bitter,Bitterometer,meter Beyond the Black Rainbow (2010)

“Beyond the Black Rainbow” is an attempt by Panos Cosmatos to make a vibey/weird horror film in the vein of some of the horror films from the ‘80s. There are long scenes that aren’t about much more than a creeper creeping over a little girl while some cool music plays and we see them on an interesting set. The acting in it is good, aside from two clowns at the end. The vibe of the film is just were it should have been.

So it’s good, right? Well, that’s where writing this review becomes a bit of a challenge. When I saw the trailer I immediately wanted to see it, wondering how it took me two years to hear about the film. I had a fair impression of what kind of movie I was going to end up experiencing. Unfortunately though, the film ends up stretching some already long scenes to the point where they stop being interesting and they start getting boring. My experience watching this film was the interested, bored, intrigued and then seriously let down. Yup, the ending is one of those that you either laugh at or has the potential to ruin what you’ve been watching during its 110 minute runtime, which I honestly could swear was a tad over two hours.


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