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Is Rapaport's Special... special?

Bitter, Bitter Balcony, Movie Review, Special  Bitter,Bitterometer,meter Special

Michael Rapaport plays Les Franken, a meter maid who can’t find happiness in his life, in “Special.” He enrolls in a drug study on a promising new antidepressant, but Les experiences slightly different results: he believes that he's developing super powers. Super powers such as smashing into walls (we mean walking through them) and lying on the ground (we mean flying).

Rapaport’s performances are pretty much identical from film to film, and Bitter Balcony has stopped caring. In "Special" he seems more like an overgrown kid with all the annoying mannerisms, insecurities and delusion that come with the package. The whining makes it difficult to connect to his character. Alexandra Holden plays a cute semi-love interest for Les, but her overacting ruins most of her scenes.

The screenplay takes a good idea as a foundation, but could have used a rewrite to expand on the romantic elements and on the character of Les. We can't really connect with what brought Les to want to test this drug, and it affects the film negatively. The film is overexposed and grainy, though watchable.

We suspect that in a few weeks we'll forget this movie exists.




Taking the fun out of frostbite [User Review]

Bitter, Bitter Balcony, Movie Review, 2010 Frozen  (2010)

***** Spoiler Alert *****

Yeah, the movie is named Frozen. Apparently, there have been several movies made named Frozen, all of which are completely different stories by different people. This gem, made in 2010, is the most recent.

I'm going to be lazy and copy the storyline from imdb. I feel that I've wasted 93 minutes of my life on this trash heap, there's no sense spending any extra time writing what has already been written.

“In Mount Holliston, snowboarders Dan Walker, his girlfriend Parker O'Neil and his best friend Joe Lynch don't have enough money to buy cable car tickets. Parker bribes Jason, an employee of the skiing station, with one hundred dollars. When the system is nearing closure, they force Jason to let them have the last pass. However, Jason needs to resolve a problem and his colleague misunderstands his instructions and stops the cable car, and the trio of snowboarders gets stranded on the chairlift on the top of the mountain. When they see that the lights of the ski resort had been turned off, they need to make a choice: leave the chairlift or freeze to death.”

***** Keep reading for the awesome details of this masterpiece *****

1 Comment

India takes the SciFi cake of the day!


My brain just imploded. Wow.

Special thanks to our homie, Eli! Sir, you have provided the gem of all gems!


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Oscar Noms, in case you care!

Bitter, Bitter Balcony, Movie Review,    

Well, Oscar nominees are out, and overall, it is a well balanced ballot. Among the pleasant surprises are veteran actors John Hawkes receiving a supporting actor nod for "Winter's Bone," as well as the underappreciated Mark Ruffalo for "The Kids are Alright." Also, Bitter Balcony favorite "Exit Through the Gift Shop" gets a Best Documentary birth, which brings a :) to our faces.

However, a few deserving candidates were omitted. Christopher Nolan got shut out from best director, again, this time for "Inception." Nolan gets no love from the Academy, but at least his script got nominated. Also, Mark Wahlberg deserved a leading male nomination for "The Fighter." Were Jesse Eisenberg and James Franco better? I don't think so. Maybe if Wahlberg would have boxed with chickens then...



Hotties in Haiku: April O'Neil as played by Judith Hoag

Bitter, Bitter Balcony, Movie Review,    

Sassy Journalist.

Always looking for trouble.

Friends with four green dudes.


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TMNT fan film kicks all kinds of shell, er, ass!


This is just bad ass!


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The Room... Tears us apart, Wiseau!

Bitter, Bitter Balcony, Movie Review,  Tom WiseauTom WiseauTom Wiseau,the rest don't matter and neither does he Bitter,Bitterometer,meter  

Just like “Star Wars” the camera descends on a planet. Planet San Francisco. The Golden Gate bridge is obviously devoid of jumpers. Why? Well, the movie has just started. Legend says the release of this film sent hundreds flocking toward that bridge just to leap to their doom, but that’ll come later… about 99 minutes later.

The first character on screen is Johnny (Tom Wiseau). He enters Lisa’s apartment with a gift. Lisa is strong like bull and luckily for Johnny is appeased by the gift or she might brrreak him. Denny some young chap likes to “watch” them. He’s the thirty-year-old kid that acts like an 8 year-old. You know, the type you expect to drool on themselves at any moment. Why does this kid show up and try to block Tom’s “rooster”? Beats us. But sure enough Wiseau wants us to be the perverts with two sex scenes in the first 15 minutes and more shortly after that. At one point we could swear that Johnny was humping the middle of Lisa’s chest… Dude, a little lower or a little higher, OK?

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