Embrace the bitter and post your own reviews!

All kinds of nerd love going on for "Tron: Legacy"!


Currently the only movie that we are looking forward to. At least that we can think of at the moment.



A Seinfeld movie? Seinfeld: Serenity Now


We didn't see this one coming. And the tone? Who would have thought that would be the route they'd take. Interesting. ;)

For a few more details on this story read HERE.


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Get to the Choppa!!! Predators review

Bitter, Bitter Balcony, Movie Review, Predators 2010Alex Litvak and Michael FinchNimród AntalAdrien Brody, Alice Braga, Topher Grace Bitter,Bitterometer,meter Predators(2010)

Finally, the most lethal hunters in the universe return to the perilous confines of the jungle in “Predators.” It’s a welcome home party for fans of this uneven franchise that began in 1987 with Arnold getting his ass handed to him in “Predator,” and Danny Glover returning the favor in 1990’s “Predator 2.” If being killed by Roger Murtaugh wasn’t a slap in the face, sharing the marquee with the Aliens in two terrible movies made these extraterrestrial hunters look like E.T. (Reese’s, anyone?). Robert Rodriguez ups his creative power producing this latest entry, “Predators,” and after nearly 20 years we’re as giddy as Mac singing “Gonna have me some fun tonight!”


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Gigli - Yup, we went there.

Bitter, Bitter Balcony, Movie Review, Gigli 2003Martin BrestMartin BrestBen Affleck,Jennifer Lopez,Al Pacino,Christopher Walken Bitter,Bitterometer,meter Gigli(2003)

How does a director end his career? Become M. Night Shyamalan? Sadly, no. You make a movie that can make Christopher Walken boring. It takes some serious talent to make Walken struggle through a scene, but Martin Brest can manage it with a little help from Ben Affleck. To make it even more interesting Martin Brest can even write and direct a monologue that can make Al Pacino make one want to roll over on their other side and continue their nap.

Watching this film feels very much like slowly feeling your brain melt. The closest thing that you can call something to look forward to is its eventual seeping out of your ears or nose. One can almost feel their life vaporizing over time. How do you have time for such complex thoughts and realizations? Easy. Watch this movie. We dare you to say that your mind won't wander every which way, but the central plot.



Hotties in Haiku: Bryce Dallas Howard as Gwen Stacey

Bitter, Bitter Balcony, Movie Review,    

Spiderman's first girl.

Green Goblin should have killed you...

...in the first movie.


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Get out of my head, Leo. GET OUT OF MY HEAD! Inception review!

Bitter, Bitter Balcony, Movie Review, Inception 2010Christopher Nolan Christopher Nolan Leonardo DiCaprio, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ellen Page, Tom Hardy Bitter,Bitterometer,meter Inception(2010)

Christopher Nolan proves again why he’s among Hollywood’s elite. After the phenomenon of “The Dark Knight,” this intrepid filmmaker had his work cut out for him: to deliver another spellbinding winner. Rather than jumping immediately into a third Batman, Nolan got his original story “Inception” green-lighted by Warner Bros.

“Inception” has corporate spies floating in mid-air, subconscious-created antagonists and a city that collapses onto itself. If you and I pitched this script, we would get the “don’t call us, we’ll call you” brush-off. But then again, none of us has a billion-dollar blockbuster to Power Point our spiel. To Bitter Balcony’s pleasure, Nolan is in top form; taking the dream battlefield of “The Matrix” and fusing it with the high-risk intrigue of “Mission Impossible.”



M. Knight's Devil - We are in hell. He still makes movies.

Bitter, Bitter Balcony, Movie Review, Devil 2010 Bitter,Bitterometer,meter Devil(2010)

So now that the tagline "An M. Night Shyamalan Film" is proof-positive of utter shittiness, we are now bombarded with "A Night Chronicle.” Listen, M. Knight, no matter how you brand a turd, it’s still a turd. Congrats on trying to rebrand, but it’s still the ol’ bait and switch. We see the bait, but we aren't falling for the switch. "The Last Airbender," the most recent film you ruined for us, will be the last. We will not step into the steaming piles you’ve produced without getting paid to do so.

With the latest M. Knight film-with-a-twist, “Devil,” we waste merely a minute and a half on the trailer. The twist is given away in the title as The Devil is stuck in an elevator with some seemingly random people.

If we are lucky at the end of the film the elevator doors will open and a rather large Austrian will scream out, “Cohagen, give dees people air!” Oh, and the elevator is actually on Mars. Something like:


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