Embrace the bitter and post your own reviews!

Karate Kid has issues...

Karate Kid's issues...,Bitter Balcony, review, movie revieww, movie, bitterKarate Kid's issues...

The "Karate Kid" remake has gone untouched by Bitter Balcony. Why? Well, I, JAS, saw this movie and had problems with it because of the film and because of other things outside of it. Since I found it hard to let go of how tacky it was that Jada Pinkett and Will Smith produced this and decided to cast their own son. This constantly irked me. I also felt that while Jaden Smith didn't do a bad job he just spent the movie amping up his pseudo-charisma and never felt like he was a kid in a crappy situation trying to prove himself, but more like some wise-cracking fool who was too busy playing the fool to realize or care about what was going on around him. Jackie Chan didn't crack a smile, which somehow makes people think he was great. This is all beside the fact that I found the movie to be a bore to watch.



The Last Airbender... Will it suck?

The Last Airbender (2010),Bitter Balcony, review, movie revieww, movie, bitter
The Last Airbender (2010)

Early reviews say Hell-to-the-yes! This makes us a tad sad, but proves once again what a f____ing hack M. Knight Shamamamamalan (why spell a hack's name right) is.

Here is one: LINK

The above review says, "If you still want to see this movie, you're either too dumb to understand why you shouldn't or too young to care. Fair enough. Enjoy spending the rest of your life with the memory of THE LAST AIRBENDER fouling your brain. This summer is beginning to feel like the End of Movie Days. God save us."

Bitter Balcony will provide a review in the coming days. We will watch it with an open mind, but we are nervous about what we might be put through.



Lookout: La Horde = Angry zombies, baby!

Lookout: La Horde (2009),Bitter Balcony, review, movie revieww, movie, bitter
La Horde (2009) - US limited theatrical release August 2010

Zombies have been around for a long time. Every once in awhile we get a refreshing twist on the zombie genre in the way of a deeper story or making them move faster. “La Horde” manages to touch on something new: This is the angriest zombie movie this author has ever seen.

Whenever the apocalypse begins in a zombie movie, the cast is thrown into a situation that defies reality, confuses, confounds and horrifies those who survive the first round of destruction. “La Horde” gives us an angry group of survivors, cops and criminals, who beat the shit out of the undead that threaten their lives. Some techniques prove better than others, but creativity is never far behind. One character starts off administering a fair beating, but nothing says “I love you” like a dropping a refrigerator on someone.


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Hotties in Haiku: Zooey Deschanel as Summer Finn

Bitter Balcony, review, movie review, movie, bitter, Summer, 500 Days of Summer

Radiant Summer.

Unattainable beauty.

Woe Tom’s broken heart.



Guest blog for Crypticon's blog is up! Beware of glorious gore!


"The Cheese of Gore: Confessions of a gorehound"

... is up at Crypticon's blog.

It's about my, JAS's, love for gore in films like those by Lucio Fulci and classic zombie movies.

The gory pics within may be a bit much for some, but if you can handle it then read it HERE.



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Rumor: Edward Scissorhands being remade... Guess who is possibly starring?

Edward Scissorhands,Bitter Balcony, review, movie revieww, movie, bitterEdward Scissorhands Remake?

There are musings going around the intertubes that there is a remake in the works and there is an interesting person rumored to be cast for it. Of course by interesting we mean horribly, pathetically, annoyingly ridiculous.


Robert Pattinson!

Booyah! If this happens I will seriously consider shutting down Bitter Balcony for good as we are doing no good here.



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Star Wars' AT-AT, the dog we always thought he was.


I remember having this toy way back in the day. It was a pretty slick one to have. Now here it is in all it's stop-motioned glory!

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