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A review of a movie or TV show.

Lookout: La Horde = Angry zombies, baby!

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La Horde (2009) - US limited theatrical release August 2010

Zombies have been around for a long time. Every once in awhile we get a refreshing twist on the zombie genre in the way of a deeper story or making them move faster. “La Horde” manages to touch on something new: This is the angriest zombie movie this author has ever seen.

Whenever the apocalypse begins in a zombie movie, the cast is thrown into a situation that defies reality, confuses, confounds and horrifies those who survive the first round of destruction. “La Horde” gives us an angry group of survivors, cops and criminals, who beat the shit out of the undead that threaten their lives. Some techniques prove better than others, but creativity is never far behind. One character starts off administering a fair beating, but nothing says “I love you” like a dropping a refrigerator on someone.


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Youth in Revolt. Hah! Youth, riiiight.

Youth in Revolt (2009),Bitter Balcony, review, movie revieww, movie, bitter
Youth in Revolt (2009)

Comedy. Comedy has taken a turn for the uncomedic as of late. The horny young loser trying to get the girl in the sack isn't as funny as it was in the '80s. Instead of searching for a new comedy formula that works, we are "treated" to 90-plus minutes of some miscast GUY chasing some chick. And often this GUY is a 22-year-old cast in the role of a 16-year-old. Take the unfunny Michael Cera, for example. He's hairless and he sounds like an 8-year-old.

If you've seen any movie about a horny nerd chasing the movie's token cute girl, you've already seen "Youth in Revolt" – and likely with better execution. Even the trying-hard-to-be-funny animation sequences don't draw a chuckle. There were only two lines in the movie that got a laugh. Steve Buscemi, the only plus to this boring film.


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The Human Centipede (First Sequence) |and unfortunately not the last| [USER REVIEW] [User Review]

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Human Centipede (2009)

This is a summary of the entire movie in order to save you from the pain of watching it!

[I don't remember how I first came across this movie, nor do I care. Interested in the title, I decided to do a little research and read some reviews which ranged from "this is crap" to "this movie is brilliant!" Because of the wide variety of opinions, I took it upon myself to sit through this "thing" and formulate my own opinion.]

Me Watching "The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (First Attempt)
Yes, it took more than one try to make it though the movie. A mixture of boredom and fatigue set in shortly after the opening credits concluded. The details are vague; lost girls, creepy guy, really creepy guy, girl falls asleep...closing credits. Hmmm, must have dozed off.

Me Watching "The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (Second Attempt)


Splice a review, this one is definitely not normal.

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Splice (2010)

Sarah Polley and Adrien Brody, two scientists, engineer the first manmade organic life form. This is not a clone of a lamb, or a pig or a bull, but a strange wormlike creature assembled using the DNA of various animals. Naturally, this is but the first step on their journey to splicing in the ever more complicated human genome, or at least parts. In an act of defiance and experimentation they create Dren, a modern day science driven Frankenstein.

With this act of the movie begins its exploration of the strange creature that is Dren and her evolution from small Squirrel-like creature to full-grown human…ish thing with strange legs and a tail. Twists and turns in her speedy evolution continue to shock the scientists and give us enough fodder to be entertained.



Valhalla Rising the level of bitterness we have

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Valhalla Rising (2010)

"Valhalla Rising" does not rise Valhalla, but it might rise the hoards of dead Vikings waiting for Ragnarok because they want to hand the writer and director's asses to them due to this overwhelmingly boring film. Mads Mikkelsen has managed to bring a certain charm to the characters he's played in the past, yes even in the lame duck that was "Clash of the Titans". However, in this film he gets the shaft in the way of a character that has every opportunity to be cool and never is.


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Underrated Films Presents: Triangle (2009)

Triangle (2009),Bitter Balcony, review, movie revieww, movie, bitterTriangle (2009)

It’s hard to write about "The Triangle" without ruining it – so this will be vague and short.

The premise: Jess (Melissa George), Tommy and friends get together on a small yacht for a day at sea. Jess arrives on the dock with something, possibly serious, going on in her world, but chooses to go on the trip anyway. After a nap, she wakes to try to enjoy the day with Tommy and his friends, but a freak storm overturns their yacht. While adrift they are crossed by a ship that appears to be deserted. With little choice, they board and find that there's someone aboard ship and this someone begins to dispatch them one by one. Jess must do what she can to survive and help her friends the best she can. But there is something more she must find: a secret terror lying in the shadows.



Holy Shrek: the Ogre's last adventure is... not that bad!

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Shrek Forever After

If best things come in threes, the opposite rings true for fours. Can we think of any fourth film in a celebrated series that might be remotely good? Number 4’s are usually lazy, unmotivated or unnecessary, resorting to the strokes that made the preceding movies memorable. “Shrek Forever After” is not different in recycling to the clever comedy that made the Ogre and his pals endearing. However, in adding a Capra-esque twist, this last adventure was, dare we say, decent. While it never tops the innovating satirical turns of Fairy Tales from the first two movies, “Shrek 4” manages to be more grounded that the inflated third film, softening the transition into the adult themes while still having some good fun.


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