Embrace the bitter and post your own reviews!

A review of a movie or TV show.

Book of Eli (AKA - Resistance is Futile: The Bible is your only hope)

Albert Huges, Allen Huges, commentary, Denzel Washington, Fallout 3, Gary Oldman, lookout, Michael Gambon, Milla Kunis, post apocalyptic, bitter balcony Book or Eli (2009)

“Book of Eli” follows Eli (Denzel Washington) as he pulls a “Ghoul Goes West” in search of a town worthy of dropping of his oh-so-important book. Along the way he ends up in some unnamed town run by Carnegie (Gary Oldman) who witnesses his kick-assery and “requests” his help. Solara (Mila Kunis) is sent in to sweeten the deal.

Direction by the Hughes Brothers and the score by Atticus Ross follow the same strange on-again, off-again artsy style. While this works for the most part the gunfights are overshot. Taking a hint or two (or three) from the video game series Fallout, the design is perfect but the premise isn't. When we saw Eli’s book had a cross on it, we sorta checked out. There are also some annoying contradictions in the film.



Bitter Balcony Sleuths Sherlock Holmes!!!

Sherlock Holmes

It's elementary, my dear friends, that Hollywood is running out of material. We have the upcoming "The Wolfman" based on the 1941 Lon Chaney Jr. classic and with a potential "Dracula" remake (”Sam “Avatar” Worthington is in talks to play the vampire with “The Crow” director Alex Proyas attached). Hollywood is going wayyyyy back for “new” sources.

Another revamp is this winter's "Sherlock Holmes,” and this time we go back two centuries ago (we guess our generation is not that interesting). The studio decided to add a stroke of hoodlum savvy to the clever, yet frigid hero. With bad-boy director Guy Ritchie at the helm (hopefully done with trash like Swept Away”, yikes!) and bad-boy actor Robert Downey Jr. as Holmes, this film is ends up being more brawn than brains. And that’s not a bad thing.



We risk the wrath of Oprah and review Precious

2009, Precious, review, Lee Daniels, Geoffrey Fletcher, Sapphire, Gabourey Sidibe, Mo'Nique, Mariah Carey, Sherri Shepherd, Paula Patton, bitter balcony "Precious" (2009)

“Precious” details struggles of a young black girl whose family includes an incestuous child molester of a father and “Mother of the Year." The title character doesn’t seem to be trying to find her way in life and escapes by imagining she is famous in some alternate reality and that everyone loves her.

The story moves at an odd pace and at times feels like a 90-minute run-on sentence. Precious’s motivations are never clear and she seems to be content following the flow of her utterly unhappy life. The story hints that we're supposed to believe she's a caring person who wants to be a good mother, but she's barely trying – and we don't find it easy to sympathize.



It’s complicated, well, sort of [USER REVIEW] [User Review]

It's Complicated

It’s complicated is like a Chocolate Croissant. It is pleasant, deliver exactly what you’d expected (the chocolate, and well, the Croissant), and not much of surprise otherwise. Is it complicated? Well, sort of. Or not.

Jane’s charming husband left her for some young sexy 10 years ago left Jane with three kids. Obviously he was not the material for family figure, so when the new family started to overload him with some family duties he started to fall backwards, when 10 years later this side of the kids were all grown and not so much of a headache. Jane is waving in between the affair with exhubby and humble funny architect.


Should you invite your family over to the House of Yes?

1997, Freddie Prince Jr., Geneviève Bujold, House of Yes, Josh Hamilton, Parker Posey, review, Tori Spelling, bitter balcony House of Yes (1997)

Parker Posey stars as "Jackie-O" Pascal in this tale of Thanksgiving with a family who have more than one skeleton in the closet. Josh Hamilton, as Jackie-O's brother, has brought his fianceé (Tori Spelling, ugh) to the party and well, let's just say, in the words of Mr. T himself, we pity the fool.

The story, based on a play, is shot entirely in one location and while feature-length, it feels a tad on the short side. The wit is handled well as are the odd conversations which happen throughout. Slowly, we uncover the rotting layers of this family's past and see just how much the onion of their life can stink.



May the wickedly cute chick you might want to fear just a tad.

May, 2002, Angela Bettis, movie May (2002)

May is an awkward young girl trying to find acceptance in this world. Like any nonconformist can tell you, this is easier said than done. She is a strange girl whose best friend is a weird doll in a glass box who manages to somehow give May advice – advice that doesn't always work. May makes several attempts at making friends, but finds that the best option for her is a much more macabre one.


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Bad Tubing: PVC-1 review!

Colombian films, Michael Jai White, PVC-1, review, Spiros Stathoulopoulos PVC-1

Bitter Balcony has found one raw thriller with "PVC-1". Based on a real event, a farmer's family is victimized in their own home by guerrilla hijackers on Colombia's countryside. As the criminals terrify the helpless family, a sinister plan to force a ransom has the hijakers strap a PVC bomb around the neck of the father. However, the man's neck is too wide for the device, leaving them to use the man's wife(Merida Urquia) instead.


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