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Miscellaneous commentary made because we are intrigued or irritated.

Dating and Movie Watching: Part 2: Something good? Or a tease?

 
Dating and Movie Watching: Part 2: Something good? Or a tease?,Bitter Balcony, review, movie revieww, movie, bitter
Dating and Movie Watching: Part 2: Something good? Or a tease?

An interesting parallel between dating and movie-watching is the constant teasing. When meeting a new girl, I always start off intrigued by some aspect of her personality and/or looks. I admit it. Looks can sometimes fool me into trying something I know won’t work, but it never lasts and I usually don’t feel so foolish because I saw it coming.

How is this any different from movies? We see a trailer and think, “That movie looks slick! Look at the visuals!” And from there on, we foolishly think that the movie will have a good story and characters that are worth watching. Maybe we like what we see at first and wait there in the theater with our fingers crossed.

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Resident Evil: Afterlife - Die already!

 
Resident Evil: Afterlife (2010)

Here we are… yet again. Because somehow we can’t shake it once we step on it we are getting another “Resident Evil.” The first one was decent in the mediocre sense, but it was obviously a fluke since every one after that was a step lower and lower. If they screwed up the Nemesis project they can’t be expected to do anything worth crap after that.

When this trailer plays you say, “there’s a fancy ‘Blade’ rip off,” “there’s yet another ‘Matrix’ inspired dribble,” and “there’s another crappy film.” The one thing you never find yourself saying is, “there’s a cool zombie movie,” or “there’s a zombie movie,” period. Where the hell are the zombies? There is one shot of our heroine running away from a group of zombies, but after that we get ninja stars, jumping, kicking, some Blade/Stephen Dorff wannabe and some giant creature guy swinging some crap around.

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Roger Ebert gets emotional over "Kick Ass"

 

Apparently, Roger Ebert is getting emotional over the violence seen in "Kick Ass." He says it’s a question of "cool" if you get the violence in the story or not. I think it should be more a question of subject matter in the film. I haven’t seen "Kick Ass" yet, but can tell that a lot of other people are getting it in a way he doesn't.

The thing to point out here is not even that he didn’t like the movie, but that he has issues with the violence. If we all recall, and if we don’t we have web history as proof, he found the violence in “Robocop” funny.

And I quote, "A junior executive is chosen to pull a gun on the machine. The warning is issued. The exec drops his gun. The robot repeats the warning, counts to five, and shoots the guy dead.

This is a very funny scene." from THIS review.

So you find violence funny when put into a satirical action film, but then don’t because it's in… another satirical action film? Could it be that Ebert has gotten to old to connect with what modern audiences seem to be enjoying?

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Dating and Movie Watching: Part 1

 

Part 1: Dating and movie watching. One and the same

I, JAS, am a single man. /nod /nod Yes, it is a hard thing to admit, but it’s true. Thirty-two and single.

My recent singlehood has put me in a position of dating again. I’ve noticed quite a few similarities between dating and movie-going. Naturally, since you are reading this on Bitter Balcony, you know this isn’t a good thing. Here are some reasons.

Reason 1: More than once, a friend has reminded me that I should never date an ugly girl. Don't fool yourself into thinking you're are into someone than you really are. This is not to say that every movie must star Megan Fox, but it should at least be a notch above Maggie Gyllenhaal. John flaming to commence in 3, 2, 1… But there is a particular standard that must be met. It shouldn’t be unrealistically high, but honest.

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First look at Alien Krueger's, er, Freddy Krueger's face... [CLIP]

 

So he doesn't say much and looks like an alien. Think he'll administer the famous "probe"?

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Breaking News: Buffy creator Joss Whedon to direct "The Avengers"!

 
Joss Wheldon to direct "The Avengers"

The Avengers team up is now really on! According to tvguide.com writer Gina DiNunno, Buffy creator Joss Whedon has been given the keys to Marvel Studios Rolls Royce project. Whedon, also the creator of "Firefly" and writer of 2000's "Titan A.E" and "Serenity", seems like the perfect choice for this ultra-geeky spin-off. The cast seems complete with recent Captain America, Chris Evans, joining Robert Downey Jr's Iron Man, newcomer Chris Hemsworth as Thor and, we're crossing our fingers here, Edward Norton as Hulk. For more information, here is the link http://movies.tvguide.com/Movie-News/Joss-Whedon-Direct-1017281.aspx?rss....

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Nightmare on Elm Street to shame screens April 30th

 
Nightmare on Elm Street (Remake)

Yup, it seems about that time again. Time to get another remake of a classic '80s horror film. On April 30, 2010 to be exact.

We'll be making an event out of this possible stinker right here at Bitter Balcony. Why, you ask? Easy. Because it gives us an excuse to see the classics all over again. In the meantime I have to ask, "Is there anyone that is actually looking forward to this?" Furthermore, "Do all the trailers so far just bore, or is it just us?"

In the meantime, while you bombard this post with "Hey, you guyz suxorz," and "Dis moviez will be de bombz cuzz McBay is productaping," you can read our original trailer impression HERE and the review of "Nightmare on Elm Street: Part 4" HERE.

Tune in April 26 for "Nightmare Week!"

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